This Journey You Make
Tell me a tale of this journey you make.
Dear Flames and New Embers, go forth and write what you must.
SUBMIT ENTRIES HERE
*Photograph taken (by me) September, 2013 30,000 feet above Tennessee.
In case you were wondering, week three sign ups close today!: http://brigits-flame.livejournal.com/10
On a similar note of panic, entries for week two are due Sunday!: http://brigits-flame.livejournal.com/10
I am muted this morning, because if I take myself off mute, I will reveal how heartbroken and angry I am.
I try my best not to be too political, but what I keep forgetting is that I have extremely strong views and, while not all are political in nature, all of them cause arguments whenever they're mentioned. But, I cannot stop expressing them, because then I'm just yielding to the people who stand against me, and that is the opposite of the point of feeling strongly about anything. I posted my view on something on Facebook this morning, and as early as the first three comments, I felt like I'd been kicked in the gut. We are not a place for arguing, so I'm not saying the topic here. You'll have to approach me separately. Suffice it to say, it's something that happened recently in the media that ties into a huge hot button issue that is never discussed with civility.
If I know this about this topic, why am I upset? I'm upset because my own boyfriend disagreed with me vehemently, and it wasn't the sort of topic you want to know your significant other does not agree with you on. He has yet to submit further comment, but his first was pretty clear.
I have a great deal of difficulty dealing with the idea that someone I love stands on the opposite side of an extremely important fence. I never know exactly what one is expected to do with that kind of information. Doesn't it go against your own values to ignore their dissent? We're only ignoring it because we love them, after all, and we certainly don't give the same free pass to the strangers we tear up in our debates. What makes them so special, besides our love?
How do youdeal with it whenyou realized a loved one has a dissenting position to something about whichyou feel passionately? Does it make it more difficultfor you to remain passionate? Do you continue to confrontthem, or just letit slide? Is either wrong, in your opinion?
The reading list from WEEK ONE is here: http://brigits-flame.livejournal.com/10
The submission poll for WEEK TWO is here: http://brigits-flame.livejournal.com/10
I don't feel so well, so this may be a clipped event.
Ten years ago, I fell in with a core group of friends, most of whom had already known each other since grade school. That was a lot to live up to, but obviously I found my niche. All these years later, coming up on our thirties and going through the same strange, unexpected trials that lead to true adulthood, we are all still together, though much more loosely. Jobs, bills, social responsibility, significant others, and even children (but that's only Steve so far) have got us a little scattered. For all of these reasons, it is understandably exciting when a bunch of us end up on the same porch, drinking wine and cider and talking about nothing.
That being said, everyone else (with the exception of periods of deployment for Chris) has been in Arizona these long years. It's Khamryn and I that ran off to the Midwest for five years and killed the winning streak. I came back two years ago, but I've been pretty elusive. Khamryn came back only a year ago, but he spends just about all of his free time with the gang. Therefore, they know who the new Khamryn is now, and they know what to expect. All they know about me is what they read on Facebook, and I don't exactly shed my soul down to bare skin all over the internet.
The reason this is significant is because I keep forgetting how much they don't know about me. It comes up in really ridiculous ways, too. There were six of us -- three guys and three gals -- and Chris made some crack about being single forever. So, I suggested we play the Dating Game. Richie was the host, asking questions, and us gals had to answer them. It got gross and hilarious extremely quickly. Then, Smidge was the bachelorette, and the guys had to answer questions. Now, Richie's had been pretty basic: "How would you impress the Bachelor on a first date?" When it came to my turn, my first question was, "The bachelorette writes a blog about conservation and sustainable resources -- how would you show off your love for the environment on a first date?" Richie was miffed. "Have you played this before!? What the hell was that!?"
My only defense? "Sorry," I said with no remorse. "Fiction writer."
I hadn't realized some of them still didn't know such essential things about who I was, or who I'd been becoming for the last seven years since we were still nineteen year old kids. I suppose that would be upsetting for some people, feeling like your friends don't really know you. The way I see it, though? We have many more years to figure each other out. What matters is that our bonds have held on, despite how little we know of each other anymore. We drifted apart and did some growing up, and now we have to get to know each other again. Not the worst gig.
Do you find differencesbetween yourself and old friends after a handful of years? How often are they more detrimental than they are opportunities for growth?
Week Two of the December contest is upon us! Sign up here: http://brigits-flame.livejournal.com/10
For those of you who threw your hats in last week, your submissions go here: http://brigits-flame.livejournal.com/10
Those things being said, I wrote an entry for week one. I dunno what happened. I had a thought riding the train home, got inside the door, deleted the first line of my original idea, and wrote something completely different. Didn't even know where it was going, just where it would probably end. It felt nice to be a writer again.
Now that's it's posted, however, I am completely self-conscious. I keep reading it over again and wondering, am I rusted or just paranoid? Because you know exactly what went into it, I think critiquing your work is exponentially more difficult than doing it for someone else. I really don't know how any of us manages to edit work after we have a first draft. Doesn't it just turn into a circular one-person argument over whether something will definitely make sense if you just add more adjectives?
It's so bogus. I can take someone else's work and make it GOLD in one edit. But mine? I have entries from years ago that I still tear apart when I come across them. It makes me wonder, do published authors like Stephen King go back, look at old work, and shudder? Do you think he read Cujo over again and thought, "I really should have focused more on letting the dog eat people"?
As soon as the supreme contest overlord, Kathy, releases the week two topic, I'm all over it. Don't you worry about me. But in the meantime...
Are you your worst critic, do you find you are ratherimpartial? How often have you read old work and wanted to hide in a hole and change your name?